Fed Up.

Right now I am just fed up with everything! I just don't know anymore. I just have that feeling of what's the use anymore. You name it and I'm over it. I just don't know what to do to make things better in my life. I' m almost to the point where I just want to hop on my bike and ride away. Ride nonstop-ride, and ride , and ride.............

I want to run and I want to run purposely. I know everything I need to know. I know what to do, how to do it, and when to do it. I know how to train, how to eat, and how to recover. I know how to make myself better physically. But how do I make myself better where it really counts-my head.

A healthy body starts with a healthy heart, then a healthy mind.
What I'm fed up with is myself.

More to come...

In and Out, In and Out

Last week was not a good week for me. Last week I could not get out of my head and guess where I ended up? That's right-back in the hole.It's hard to be alone when your not. It's hard to be what someone somebody whats you to be and when you are you get pushed back. Oh well...

The hardest part is getting out the door. Running and riding is my escape. A way to clear my head and find peace within . Hey, everybody has to have reason, or two or three. We all have our unique path on the same road. Don't you love it?

I got out the door this week. I'm going to get out tomorrow. I had a great ride the other day. Still enjoy exploring the countryside on the fat tires. You just can't beat the beauty of the land around here. You can't beat riding for twenty miles and only seeing one car! You can't beat running on quiet trails. Even when your feet end up looking like this afterwards. No biggie though. It doesn't bother me. I think it looks wicked!

Next week I start on a marathon plan. Now I just need to find a marathon.

More to come...

Now Go Get Lost.

Its been a year since my world came tumbling down. So now what?
I read somewhere and it read "What others think of you is none of your business" . He was right. I have to just be myself and do the best that I can.

And now back to our show-or better yet the road. Having a blast on the fat tires! Long term thought-XC race!
Just picking a direction and I'm gone.
Sunday I reached a point. I had seen this road before and the small hill at the beginning so why not? What I didn't notice was that was only a quarter of the hill-holy cow! This is what it is all about so off I go up the hill. Now I'm pinging the heart rate and feeling good. Until the second hill and here I go again. Where is that Granny gear? Yea I said that and I made it up! Now I turn and what is this-another hill! So now I have a choice. I can either stop or walk it up. To me it is always better to keep moving so walk up and get my heart back down.
Now I was  basically thinking I was going to ride in a square so turn at the next road. This is about the time I realize I might be seeing what I just rode through and I was right. So hill four -ok, hill five not ok.
I made it back and was the better for it.
I really believe we have to break ourselves sometimes. How else are we going to learn? How else are we going to get better if not by testing our limits? I died on that ride and felt great about it,

And now on to running! Today was a great day. Today I hit the trails. I've been blessed with a state park just down the road. I know I'm going to have a great time at this place. So with water in one hand and a map in the other I was off running. Something about being alone of the trails just fills the soul with great energy. I'm in love.

With all that is going on in the country we cannot forget about our parks. We need to get out and use these great places and support them. These are true treasures!

More to come...

My New Long Road

Well I'm back. Not like anyone noticed. Any now I'm back in a new location and loving it. Why-well because I get to explore some beautiful country. It is GREAT!

I haven't had done much running but I have been taking my mountain bike out exploring the back roads. Great way to see things and clear your head.

So in a few days I start back on a plan. Actually because the kids start back to school and I have time in the morning to get back to the running. And it comes at a good time. I need to get back on a routine-a get rid of 25 pounds routine and running is a big part of it. I get back to running-I start eating better........

Now I just need a goal (a race) -a marathon. Also need to get my sights set back on an Ironman.
And I will!

More to come...

I Believe.

Even though I can't get out and run I'm not giving in and climbing back into my hole. I have to figure out ways to keep myself going and I am. There is a small problem. I gain weight. I don't get hung on weight but when I gain this type of weight it goes straight to my Bubba gut and it feels uncomfortable. The sad thing is that I know where it comes from and what to do about it and how to get rid of it. But when I can't get out and run it seems so much harder for me to do anything else but eat.

This will all change soon, I hope. In a few weeks I will be settled in to a new place. I've already measured out some routes figured out  when I can run. And I found a goal-Ironman Louisville 2012.

This whole thing started when my life fell apart training for this race last year. A year ago I was cranking away getting so pumped for this race. The workouts were a natural high. Five k long swims, hours on the bike, and twenty mile runs all in the zone. And in a few weeks I begin again.

For now? I do what I can when I can and I believe. So get ready because I coming.

More to come...

I'm Trying.

Well I'm back on the road, back on the trails, back on anything. Not the mileage I was at but I'm getting out the door. Some days it's still hard. Some days I get out there and I'm wondering what am I doing? I just want to get back in bed. But when I finish I always remember how much I love what I do and why I run-sheer joy.

And now things change. I'm going to find time. I'm going to have new places to explore. I'm going to find new friends on the roads and trails I explore. It's all there waiting for me.

I start fresh. I work on my form. I get back to eating healthy (which I believe is half the equation). I set up a goal and work out a plan.

I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.

More to come...

In My Hole,

I hate my hole. That place I climb into and want to stay. Climb in and stay is what I did. I guess it all caught up to me. Seemed like everything happened to me at once. Things happen and things change and I have to deal with it and learn to make the best of it. I think what got me was that I couldn't run and it snowballed. I didn't want to get up. I even started back on some meds trying to get me out of the whole. I thought if I started from scratch it could inspire me to get moving. Nothing was working and wasn't moving. You could say I got plenty of rest.

But a few days ago I decided to not give in to the negative thoughts. I had to get up and get going. I had to stop eating whole pizzas and drinking a gallon of soda.

Today I got up and did three miles. Today I ate fruit and a salad and drank water. Today I feel positive. Tomorrow is going to be even better!

More to come...